Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
