i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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