I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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