I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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