they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
