i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize