ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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