How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
