It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
no you cant smoke seaweed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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