this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
