I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
