My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
