If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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