It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
