im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
