careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
