exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
