I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
