so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize