His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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