If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
