last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
