I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
