This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
