So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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