last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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