who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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