You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
