She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
