Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
