:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
they need to just BURY HIM!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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