I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
