And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize