i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
