He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
