what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
