And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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