Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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