We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
