It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
