new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize