one two three fourrrrnication!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
