You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
