Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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