I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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