margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also, beer. Big fan.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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