dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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