so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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