dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
