shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
