Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
