My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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