But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
