I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
