He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
