Its about making memories worth repressing
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
