I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize