Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
