Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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