hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
