Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
