My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
