He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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