Whod you bang
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
